Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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