i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
