Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize