She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize