Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize