Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
