I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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