I heard we made out
singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream