We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.