i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck