her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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