he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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