why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So here I am, sexting at work.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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