I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
