I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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