I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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