Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.