dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My cat gives me a boner
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.