We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.