am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.