So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS