Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize