Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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