Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
