i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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