that's an acceptable place to lick
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
