I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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