Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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