Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The police scanner is talking about you again....
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize