You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
