I just threw up on my dentist
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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