Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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