Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize