So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud