Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt