so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.