dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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