I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
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what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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