Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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