Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
