I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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