Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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