I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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