I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize