we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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