Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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