The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
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I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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