If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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