You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
tell me about the fingering
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