Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
