He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize