Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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