we have officially lost it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
