Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.

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  (407): Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child. http://tfl.nu/79c5
  Replies (50) Good night (673) Bad night (5912)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??

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  (970): She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care?? http://tfl.nu/ucqp
  Replies (47) Good night (2065) Bad night (3420)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that

  (850): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure thats an 11

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  (941): i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that (850): im pretty sure thats an 11 http://tfl.nu/g2lw
  Replies (23) Good night (4182) Bad night (1216)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...

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  (623): highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume... http://tfl.nu/i7v6
  Replies (56) Good night (4504) Bad night (2147)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.

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  (831): It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse. http://tfl.nu/4ove
  Replies (11) Good night (4645) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could

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  (973): He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could http://tfl.nu/0a7l
  Replies (36) Good night (11971) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.

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  (813): If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing. http://tfl.nu/gg1f
  Replies (26) Good night (6102) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.

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  (414): Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that. http://tfl.nu/4zb9
  Replies (43) Good night (1704) Bad night (6565)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.

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  (989): I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made. http://tfl.nu/gowl
  Replies (6) Good night (3706) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.

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  (206): Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year. http://tfl.nu/cw7s
  Replies (2) Good night (3706) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?

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  (405): She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after? http://tfl.nu/ibkm
  Replies (16) Good night (3540) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.

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  (909): Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out. http://tfl.nu/vj9i
  Replies (10) Good night (1987) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table

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  (254): Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table http://tfl.nu/xk9z
  Replies (4) Good night (1403) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.

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  (727): Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes. http://tfl.nu/6vbt
  Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.

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  (540): I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism. http://tfl.nu/6sut
  Replies (2) Good night (489) Bad night (203)

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