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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...

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  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

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• (805): View more from California

  Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.

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  19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds

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• (619): View more from California

  You in for a dick vacation?

  (1-619): View more from California

  YES, even though I have no idea what that means

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM

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