You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills