Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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