I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
