I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize