Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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