What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
